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By David Emery
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Email Joke Lands School Principal in Time-Out

Wednesday February 3, 2010

Imagine you're a parent and you get this email from your kid's elementary school principal:

Dear Parents,

Turn off the TV for once and pay attention.

Regarding math:

The math we do is really easy. If your child is either too lazy or too stupid to finish it in class, I'm sending it home so that you can work with them and judge for yourself whether it is laziness or idiocy that inhibits your child's progress. We do part of it in class. How on earth they can NOT finish it is beyond me, but please help them with the part that we do NOT do in class. If your child is one of the mediocre few who excels on the homework, please congratulate them with a warm handshake or perhaps a halfhearted high-five, since finishing this homework is the equivalent of a twenty-year-old wanting to be congratulated for knowing how to tie his shoes...

It only gets worse from there.

The parents of children attending Litchfield Elementary School in Litchfield Park, Arizona actually did receive such a message, KPNX-TV News2 reported yesterday. Oddly enough, the fact that it was a joke intended for faculty members only doesn't seem to have mollified its unintended recipients. Litchfield's principal has been put on administrative leave and school superintendent Dr. Julianne Lein called every parent individually to apologize.

Read more:

'Joke' Letter from Principal Sent to Parents

Full Text of the Letter

Comments:

February 3, 2010 at 5:30 pm
(1) anonymous says:

Dear Parents,

Turn off the TV for once and pay attention.

(Phoenix New Times has this posted too – very true. I am a local of the area).

Regarding math:

The math we do is really easy. If your child is either too lazy or too stupid to finish it in class, I’m sending it home so that you can work with them and judge for yourself whether it is laziness or idiocy that inhibits your child’s progress. We do part of it in class. How on earth they can NOT finish it is beyond me, but please help them with the part that we do NOT do in class. If your child is one of the mediocre few who excels on the homework, please congratulate them with a warm handshake or perhaps a halfhearted high-five, since finishing this homework is the equivalent of a twenty-year-old wanting to be congratulated for knowing how to tie his shoes.

Regarding Field trip lunches:

We have a peanut allergy in our room and a few in second grade in general. Because of this, everyone must eat nut-free foods. We also have a child who is mourning their puppy who got run over last week by a garbage truck, so we ask that no one wear anything resembling puppy fur, or that is red and flat. Further, one of our students has a nervous tick that causes him to slap himself in face several times a minute. In order to help this child not feel conspicuous, we ask that your child imitate a crazed masochist for the length of this field trip.”

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February 4, 2010 at 1:16 pm
(2) takeabreath says:

It made me laugh! Please, people, lighten up! A similar thing happened to me when I misdirected an email. Instead of taking a step back and thinking about why this message was even created, the cry was for “heads to roll!” Take a breath. Life’s too short.

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February 4, 2010 at 3:11 pm
(3) ruth says:

Well, if you read farther into the letter, he also asks kids to not bring nuts to lunch because of a child with a peanut allergy. My daughter (who is now 24) has a peanut allergy, and I wish that when she was growing up people took it a lot more seriously, because it can be life threatening.

I hope that people don’t think that because everything else in that letter is worth laughing at, they can laugh about the allergy too. That part should be taken seriously and the parents should enforce the peanut free environment.

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February 4, 2010 at 3:21 pm
(4) Gene says:

I applaud this letter. It's only too sad that it was not sent intentionally. Kids these days are lazy and ignorant and want to be congratulated for wiping themselves.

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February 4, 2010 at 3:42 pm
(5) happywoman says:

They wipe themselves???

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February 4, 2010 at 4:10 pm
(6) takeabreath says:

Ruth, I appreciate the difficulty of having a child with allergies. However it is our job to make our way in the world – not to make the world revolve around us. Some folks are allergic to dust, pollen, soap, chalk, or gluten. Should all of these things be banned? Some people have an allergy to the sun. I’m just saying…. Be reasonable. OK, no cookies with peanuts. But some schools prohibit any peanut products anytime for anyone at school.

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February 4, 2010 at 9:34 pm
(7) disgusted with modern parents in general says:

I’m with the Principal on this one. The superintendent is making it worse by calling and apologizing. Chances are great that the most offended parents are the ones who should pay greatest heed to the opening sentence. I’m frankly ill of hearing every single failing of our youth blamed on public schools – most communities continually slash budgets and work pointless political or social agenda into the curriculum and then blame teachers when Suzie or Tommy misbehaves.

Plus, if you couldn't tell the letter was a joke, clearly "reading and comprehension” are not modeled well at home.

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February 4, 2010 at 9:48 pm
(8) nopants says:

Obviously ruth is a racist and making fun of George Washington Carver’s work with the peanut, nature’s healthiest food.

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February 5, 2010 at 4:28 pm
(9) Tom says:

As a former teacher, I found the letter hilarious (though I can appreciate the principal’s embarrassment at having the thing go home).

When I was teaching, I had parents who figured they could do the job better than any staff member. “You don’t have to actually know anything to be a teacher,” was one comment made to me (four years of university for a B.Ed. not withstanding).

I dealt with a hockey coach who reamed me out because I dared to schedule a test or assign homework before a game or tournament, and a baseball coach who threatened to rearrange my face because I enforced a school rule and confiscated team baseball caps.

One man told his son, in my presence, “You don’t have to listen to him. He’s just a teacher. I’m your father, and I say you don’t have to do homework.”