CAT Tracks for May 4, 2011 CAIRO REFUGEES FILE CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT

Inspired by news reports of a class action lawsuit filed against the Army Corps of Engineers by Missouri farmers who knowingly chose to sign waivers and build homes and work farms in a spillway...

Bears emphasizing...SPILLWAY: a passage for surplus water to run over or around an obstruction (as a dam).

Anyway...

So inspired, the refugees of the small town of Cairo, Illinois (located at the Southwestern tip of the state) have secured the services of a Chicago law firm to seek damages for being forced from their homes by a legally dubious mandatory evacuation order.

Stoking their anger are verified reports that residents who defied the "mandatory" evacuation order have since been rewarded with passports for free movement into and out of the city at their discretion.

I interviewed an irate Cairo refugee just yesterday who had made the long trek from Marion, IL to Cairo in order to view the status of his residence and those of family and friends also in exile. This life-long resident of Cairo was turned away by a local policeman who said "Only emergency personnel are allowed in the city. It is not safe. You need to turn around and leave immediately."

When word of this close encounter of the worst kind spread, his fellow refugees grabbed their torches and pitchforks and began marching toward Cairo.

Fortunately (since they would surely have been arrested under suspicion of being the mysterious, elusive "Cairo Arsonist"), they were met at the I-57 Mile Marker 22 (where they had knowingly and advisedly slowed their pace for fear of receiving speeding tickets from the Pulaski County Sheriff's Department) by the aforementioned team of lawyers (known hereabouts as "Robbers All"...famous for draining Cairo School District Number One dry. What better group to take on the Flood of 2011?!

So, as the "Cairo Lockout" enters its 4th day, exiled Cairo residents are angrily completing claims for damages...motel rooms, mileage, restaurant charges, etc.

As evidence that the refugees' ire is increasing rather than abating...

Whilst attempting to sleep in one of the camps last night (to personally experience their plight), my slumber was disturbed 'round about midnight...a veritable cacophony of sound, like the wails of sinners despairing at the Biblical End of Days.

When I threw open my tent flap to see what was the matter, I was able to distinguish their words:

"We're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore!"

After a moment's concern for decorum and the late hour, I could no longer restrain myself and joined with my fellow refugees in a full-throated...

"Yowwwwwwwwwwwwl!"