CAT Tracks for August 19, 2010
AWWW...C'MON

Where are the scientists when you really need them?

You know...

Those scientists who traipse off to the wilds of Utah in search of answers...to the obvious.

An all-expense-paid vacation awaits them in Christina Lake, British Columbia!

The scientists could claim that they are (re)searching...for the answer to a time-honored hypothesis...


From the msnbc.com website...


Link to Original Story

BC police: Bears surrounded pot fields

Associated Press

CHRISTINA LAKE, British Columbia — Police who uncovered two marijuana fields near the U.S.-Canada border had to tread carefully: 13 black bears were wandering around the crops.

The fields of about 2,300 plants were found near Christina Lake, just a few miles (kilometers) from the border.

Royal Candian Mounted Police Cpl. Dan Moskaluk says that when police arrived in the area two weeks ago, they discovered the bears and cautiously went about making the seizure.

He says the bears were docile and obviously were used to humans. They could be put down if they are too habituated to people.

The property's two owners were arrested on charges of production and possession of a controlled substance.

It's unclear if they used the bears to guard the pot fields or just liked having them as pets.


CAT Tracks Editor's Note:

For you purists, you literary aficionados...

I am well aware of the alternate ending..."Music has charms to soothe a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak...yada, yada, yada" by William Congreve.

Hey...

Don't worry, be happy!

Pack your bags...join our intrepid scientists, as they make their pilgrimage to their fields of dreams. As the need-to-get-a-life scientists write their tedious reports, reports doomed to become dusty, ponderous tomes, you can redeem the cost of the expedition by penning a titillating New York Times bestseller, featuring (and, can I get a drum roll please)...bear breasts.

The working title, playing on an earlier book/movie "Out of Africa", would be "Into Canada". Since the movie will be filmed on location (British Columbia), maybe the eventual title can simply be "B.C.", initials that might remind dirty old men of a movie/movie poster from their youth..."One Million Years B.C.", staring Raquel Welsch, one of the breast actresses of her time, baring none...well, maybe hinting at a couple.

We could insure the success of our venture by filming a XXX version at the same time we produce the original. That way, if the movie fails to become a big-screen blockbuster, we can recoup our losses at the adult movie houses.


FOOTNOTE:

In anticipation of a negative review by the politically correct crowd: