'Twas the Night Before Christmas: Full Text of the Classic Poem

Before turning the ceremony over to our guest celebrities, I'd like to offer my personal greetings for the season:

What's with the sourpuss?

You expected a Cheshire Cat grin?

Not this year!

Our warm-up guest celebrity offers his opinion on the year that seems like it will never end:

And, being the mean one that he is...

...in a spontaneous celebrity roast, he couldn't resist lampooning our guest of honor's resistance to pandemic precautions:

I know, I know, you are bursting with anticipation for our celebrity reading of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, but...

...you do know my fondness for music...

...and it's been a loooong time.

So, a short seasonal song and then our special reading of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas:

Oh come all ye faithful, indeed!

On with the show...

From The Chicago Tribune