Cairo Association of Teachers - Newsletter

CAT Tracks for June 25, 2009 TIE ME KANGAROO DOWN, SPORT

Well, I'll be...

Uh, make that "wallaby"

Okay, the "mystery" of Tuesday's "Doo Dee Doo Dee" edition was "solved" when Governor Sanford fessed up to "taking a walk on the wild side" rather than a hike on the Appalachian Trail.

Apologizing during a tear-filled news conference...

...Don'tcha always wonder if the tears shed are because of sincere remorse over what they did...or because they got caught and (pardon the expression) screwed their political career?

Anyway, in my quirky, musically inclined mind...ever since the news conference and the revelation that the Governor's mistress is from Argentina, I can't stop humming "Don't cry for me, Carolina."

Oh, well...

And, now, from the "front page" of MSNBC.com comes a new revelation...a new "Unsolved Mystery"...SOLVED!

Crop circles...

No alien spaceships landing in the middle of the field...no aliens carving signals large enough to be seen from the homeland (whatever planet that may be.)

No!

Crop circles are made by herds of stoned kangaroos!

HA!

Yeah...right!!!

Evidently the Australian Government is just as deceitful as the United States Government about covering up evidence of alien visitations. And I thought "weather balloons" was a flimsy tale...

The Australian Government trots out giant rabbits with built in fanny/waist packs that hop around on two legs instead of four...and says it's their doin'??? Give me a break!

Editor's Note: I looked it up...kangaroos/marsupials are not rabbits...they're POSSUMS!!! Makes the explanation even MORE ridiculous!!! Possums are too busy trying to figure out HOW the chicken managed to cross the road (without getting squished) to have time for taking a spin in the field!

Look...I used to be a big fan of Saturday morning cartoons. If the Australian Government wanted to convince ME that animals were to blame...they missed the obvious. The location of the poppy fields...TASMANIA! You take that little spinning "tornado" dude in the Looney Tunes cartoons...now HE could whip out some crop circles in no time!

But...even if the Australian Government IS right - BIG "IF" - that STILL does NOT explain away crop circles in the United States!

The kangaroos "done it"? OKAY, Mr. Experts...then just how in the heck did the kangaroos get to the corn fields of the American Midwest???

Did they hitchhike...catch a bus...take a cab???

Looking at the geography, I would have to say that aliens must have "swoped" down (beamed up?), grabbed them a few fuzzy critters, a deposited them in some farmer's field to have a little fun!

Prove me wrong...

Actually, had another thought...

Reason for this thought is the lead picture that accompanied this article...or at least the caption. A "red neck wallaby"...

Dispensing with the "you've got to be kidding" moment..."corn", "red necks"?

Okay...crop circles in the United States are NOT the result of runaway kangaroos...or a massive herd of possums taking a night away from their "road studies".

Crop circles are the result of a bunch of local red necks, loaded to the gills with corn mash, staggering around the field...

...just some good ol' boys making, uh, crop circles!

Any more mysteries you want solved? Just drop me a line...

Australian marsupials wreak havoc after munching on opium poppies

The Associated Press

SYDNEY, Australia - Wallabies snacking in Tasmania's legally grown opium poppy fields are getting "high as a kite" and hopping around in circles, trampling the crops, a state official said.

Tasmania Attorney-General Lara Giddings told a budget hearing Wednesday that she had recently read about the kangaroo-like marsupials' antics in a brief on the state's large poppy industry. Tasmania is the world's largest producer of legally grown opium for the pharmaceutical market.

"We have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," The Mercury newspaper quoted Giddings as telling the hearing. "Then they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high."

Calls to Giddings' office were not immediately returned Thursday, and The Associated Press was unable to obtain a copy of the brief she cited.

'Act weird'

A manager for one of two Tasmanian companies licensed to take medicinal products from poppy straw told the newspaper that wildlife and livestock — including deer and sheep — that eat the poppies are known to "act weird."

"There have been many stories about sheep that have eaten some of the poppies after harvesting and they all walk around in circles," Tasmanian Alkaloids field operations manager Rick Rockliff said.

Others in the local poppy industry could not be reached for comment.

Tasmania supplies about 50 percent of the world's raw material for morphine and related opiates. About 500 farmers grow the crop on 49,420 acres of land.