Blissfully driving home from visiting mother
Least expecting reminders of any other
Parked at the Central Office - a car…LIL ROK 9
With the Swopes Countdown set, he'd surely slipped my mind

But, then it did dawn,...of course Leotis is here
Five hundred dollars a day gives anyone cheer
With F-O-P distracted and the Board’s okay
Swopes might finagle more than the one hundred days

Exposé in the making, I screeched to a halt
Whipped out my camera, poised to capture this fault
Figured…”I’ll take a picture…Ooh, I’ll rant and rave”
To heighten emotion about this selfish knave

Then a sobering thought: “What more is there to say?”
I need to let it go…just let him GO A-Way!
Give up obsession¸ honor the Christmas season
Good will to men, even those without reason

But, at that very moment there rose a clatter
I looked toward the building to see what’s the matter
Swopes emerging dressed all in red from head to foot
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot

Can’t be from work, since never a finger he lifts
For sure not from descending a chimney with gifts
So why the singed appearance, I’m left to wonder
Listen to rumor…it’s from his land down under.

Leotis paused when he saw me, eyes all a-glare
He relaxed, he beckoned me over…"Do I dare?"
Visions of this CAT in a bag danced in my head
"No," Swopes said…"An interview for your 'Rag' instead."

"You’ve had over three years of fun at my expense
And, yes, I'll admit, sometimes I became incensed.
However, soothing my ego was the knowledge,
That I would have the last laugh despite your verbiage."

"So crank up your camera, get ready to shoot;
Turn on the video, this will be a real hoot.
Although I denied it, what you printed was fact!
This final parting will be a fitting last act."

Swopes then sprang to his car, keying the ignition
Like a bat out of hell, a man on a mission
With mid finger extended, he drove out of sight
“Board, F-O-P…Screw all y’all, I made out all right!”